Pinch punch first day of the month....
I got asked out by another guy..........I don't even.... Should I be happy? Like I like these people so much they are so fun then they say they like me then I say I don't want another relationship ever then they say ah don't feel bad we can still do stuff as friends etc. Then... Then its okayish but awkward all at once... Then they grow to resent me slightly and distance themselves then I lose friends.
Relationship story of my life..... Admittedly ones that have stayed friends went on to become best friends at one point or another o...o
I'm not even that great :/ Maybe its because of my imperfections that they can feel comfortable around me and feel more normal... Or I have a weird immune system or.... I ....
This wouldn't be happening if Tom had put the effort in.... other people want me... Why didn't he TT_TT.... fudge V.V I keep thinking how in like 4days it would be an anniversary of when I met him. Fuck sake.
Every time I get tired I seem to lose control of my emotions, haha. Who needs drink when all it takes is lack of sleep >.<
A lovely guy bought me a drink today though, as I thought I looked sad. Shall buy him one next Thursday :) but was sweet of him >.>
Yup o.o
Friday 1 November 2013
Thursday 31 October 2013
Day 6836
Insane happiness 101:
Lose your student card, debit card and provisional licence, check pretty much everywhere for it, start preparing to cancel your card and having to pay out for the replacements.....Then! Find it in the last place you look for it!!!(literally)
In short I left my phone sock on the bus yesterday morning; which had all my cards in. ( well ones of relevance ) and I only noticed when I was getting the bus back that evening. At first I thought it was in the depths of my bag but after tipping everything onto my bed ( I now have pencil shavings on my bed >.>) and going through all my pockets I decided I must have left it in one of the classrooms I was in o.o
So then I went and did some pumpkin carving with a friend Tom :) and we made a koala!!! And the event didn't fail :3 we got like 40-50 people coming to carve pumpkins!!
We didn't win anything >.> but look at it o3o
ANYWAYS o.o
So then today I checked, the classrooms x 3, the office ( twice) The IT office, the art office, the caretaker office, the police station, the university lost and found, the computer lab, the walk to deli to, deli to itself, AND THEN the bus o.o And that is where I had left it... Save they didn't have it >.> They had given it to the langstone office and now I don't have to cancel my cards or pay just under £75 getting new cards and I'm just >.> so very very happy.
I also did designs for the anime society hoodie contest o.o The koala one I made on flash - hence its amazing ness. The others I drew then scanned in then traced on sumo paint then vectorised on vector magic o.o yup o.o Yay koalas o3o
Lose your student card, debit card and provisional licence, check pretty much everywhere for it, start preparing to cancel your card and having to pay out for the replacements.....Then! Find it in the last place you look for it!!!(literally)
In short I left my phone sock on the bus yesterday morning; which had all my cards in. ( well ones of relevance ) and I only noticed when I was getting the bus back that evening. At first I thought it was in the depths of my bag but after tipping everything onto my bed ( I now have pencil shavings on my bed >.>) and going through all my pockets I decided I must have left it in one of the classrooms I was in o.o
We didn't win anything >.> but look at it o3o
ANYWAYS o.o
So then today I checked, the classrooms x 3, the office ( twice) The IT office, the art office, the caretaker office, the police station, the university lost and found, the computer lab, the walk to deli to, deli to itself, AND THEN the bus o.o And that is where I had left it... Save they didn't have it >.> They had given it to the langstone office and now I don't have to cancel my cards or pay just under £75 getting new cards and I'm just >.> so very very happy.
I also did designs for the anime society hoodie contest o.o The koala one I made on flash - hence its amazing ness. The others I drew then scanned in then traced on sumo paint then vectorised on vector magic o.o yup o.o Yay koalas o3o
Oh and picture of today ( cause today is filled with images )
Sunday 27 October 2013
Day 6832
I went to expo!!!!!
I HAD PURPLE EYEEEEEEEEEEEES :D!!!! So much win.
Save how I couldn't get them in >.> so asked a guy called Mass to <.< and then was freaking out cause I couldn't get them out until "Look up at the ceiling, put your finger tip on the lense, drag it down gently and pinch once it's off the centre of your eye" The easiest way to remove contacts o.o >.> save I used my nail on the edge of the lense and then dragged and pinched >.> but yeah :3
And I met so many awesome people in the artist corner and asked many of them the 5 questions o.o Which was so much fun :3 And met up with Chris and Matt ^.^
Was just looking through Facebook to find an image to put on here... And ended up just going through all of it... Wow my spelling and grammar have improved a fair amount...Still a fair bit to go mind but ah well. Aha I use so many emotes now and then theres all the old photographs of myself o.o ..... With boyfriends.... Ex's o..o I'd like to say I regret nothing. But I do o.o I enjoyed my time with every single one of them and have many happy memories. But it's more like :/ We broke up. What was the point in going out :/ Obviously there is the whole " I'm experienced in a relationship " now. However I would rather have stayed naive and waited for "the one" o.o... Hah like that's ever going to happen XD. Think I shall stay clear of relationships till the dude I like is 27 and mature enough to want to stay with me through thick and thin.
Back to expo o.o I had so much fun <3
^.^ Maybe next time I'll help out in the artist corner :3
Or have my own stall o.o Think I may do that instead o.o There was a 17 year old who did that o.o so o.o you know o.o If he could, why can't I?
I HAD PURPLE EYEEEEEEEEEEEES :D!!!! So much win.
Save how I couldn't get them in >.> so asked a guy called Mass to <.< and then was freaking out cause I couldn't get them out until "Look up at the ceiling, put your finger tip on the lense, drag it down gently and pinch once it's off the centre of your eye" The easiest way to remove contacts o.o >.> save I used my nail on the edge of the lense and then dragged and pinched >.> but yeah :3
And I met so many awesome people in the artist corner and asked many of them the 5 questions o.o Which was so much fun :3 And met up with Chris and Matt ^.^
Was just looking through Facebook to find an image to put on here... And ended up just going through all of it... Wow my spelling and grammar have improved a fair amount...Still a fair bit to go mind but ah well. Aha I use so many emotes now and then theres all the old photographs of myself o.o ..... With boyfriends.... Ex's o..o I'd like to say I regret nothing. But I do o.o I enjoyed my time with every single one of them and have many happy memories. But it's more like :/ We broke up. What was the point in going out :/ Obviously there is the whole " I'm experienced in a relationship " now. However I would rather have stayed naive and waited for "the one" o.o... Hah like that's ever going to happen XD. Think I shall stay clear of relationships till the dude I like is 27 and mature enough to want to stay with me through thick and thin.
Back to expo o.o I had so much fun <3
^.^ Maybe next time I'll help out in the artist corner :3
Or have my own stall o.o Think I may do that instead o.o There was a 17 year old who did that o.o so o.o you know o.o If he could, why can't I?
Tuesday 22 October 2013
Day 6827
You are what you eat....3 transition thing o.o
AND
Then the bird that jumped and hovered and failed and yes.
Friday 18 October 2013
Day 6823
o..o Well that was a fun night, my eyes are all red though that is mostly because I didn't take my makeup off.
I'm meeting a guy today.... He said he wants to ask me a question... A personal question, that is best asked in person...... o...o I has sneaky suspicions he will ask me out :/ but I am seriously hoping that is not it..... I mean I broke up with my boyfriend... what a week ago? And he's known me for... two weeks if that.
I get that I can be a nice person and I do judge people, but not on there looks or background or whatever ...Which is a nice enough trait. I also have the confidence to pull off talking to different people and enjoy it. and "beauty" wise I mean I'm not super skinny or fit but the clothes I wear accentuate my breasts and waist and with heels I can be normal height and with make up I'm relatively pretty. This is basically my opinion of myself and my acknowledgement I would seem to be a good girlfriend.... But it's just like... You can't know someone in two weeks and you can't get over someone in one week.
He may not even ask me...
I may be worrying for nothing....
BUT GUYS SERIOUSLY D:< you say about friend zoning well I say about girlfriend zoning 0..0 only being interested in a girl as a potential girlfriend and when you find out she's not interested you disappear o..o If you do that you are a douche. Grow up. If you don't o.o then o.o I approve.........
On another note
I have a white rose :3 it is so pretty :3 and it is awesomes o3o and I will post images soon :3
I'm meeting a guy today.... He said he wants to ask me a question... A personal question, that is best asked in person...... o...o I has sneaky suspicions he will ask me out :/ but I am seriously hoping that is not it..... I mean I broke up with my boyfriend... what a week ago? And he's known me for... two weeks if that.
I get that I can be a nice person and I do judge people, but not on there looks or background or whatever ...Which is a nice enough trait. I also have the confidence to pull off talking to different people and enjoy it. and "beauty" wise I mean I'm not super skinny or fit but the clothes I wear accentuate my breasts and waist and with heels I can be normal height and with make up I'm relatively pretty. This is basically my opinion of myself and my acknowledgement I would seem to be a good girlfriend.... But it's just like... You can't know someone in two weeks and you can't get over someone in one week.
He may not even ask me...
I may be worrying for nothing....
BUT GUYS SERIOUSLY D:< you say about friend zoning well I say about girlfriend zoning 0..0 only being interested in a girl as a potential girlfriend and when you find out she's not interested you disappear o..o If you do that you are a douche. Grow up. If you don't o.o then o.o I approve.........
On another note
I have a white rose :3 it is so pretty :3 and it is awesomes o3o and I will post images soon :3
Thursday 17 October 2013
Day 6822
Why do I feel so bad TT_TT I know I'm not worthless, I mean something to people there are people who care for me.... I know that, I do.
I feel so useless. I can't do this TT_TT I don't want another relationship ever again. Inadequate. Why was I not worth the effort. Why did I go out with a guy like him. Why do I still feel like I need him to "validate" me this is so crap! srew relationships and boys and people and I hate this TT_TT!
Wednesday 16 October 2013
Day 6821
So.... A lot of things happened this friday to Monday, here is a quick rendition of the events.
Friday - My mum came down to take me back up for the weekend, my dog was so happy to see me he managed to jump over the protective cloth in the back seat into my lap on the front seat, was very sweet aha. Though later over the weekend it seems he'd eaten some rotten apples as he smelled so much D:
We then... After almost being directed out of portsmouth -.-... silly one way system. Anyways we went back to the soup place o3o And I'm thinking of enrolling them as the food peoples for if and when I do the murder mysteries o3o
Went shopping, got some PJ bottoms and two tops for £4 o.o which was good. They also have square floor tiles but they were £10.... Which is a lot of money o.o I think.... For chess that will only happen once o.o
When I got home I was so so so tired O.O but yeah o.o ..... Then .... In the evening.... I had a call with my boyfriend..... Well I called him on the phone and asked what he'd been doing... And he said playing skyrim..... Was pretty pissed off at him :/ cause like.... He finally had free time, and he chose to play a game over me o.o...... When he hasn't talked to me in a couple weeks :/...... and when I was finally back home so we could arrange stuff....I had such a go at him, it's just like is a game really worth more than me?
Long story short we've broken up, at 22.22 on the 11th of the 10th I don't want to work out how many days we went out for... It's not even that he's a bad person..... It's just, he's working so much, he's tired all the time, which leaves him in this state of not caring and it's not just me he doesn't care about or want to put effort into it's his friends as well.... and I don't have the patience to wait o.o
621 days....Or 1 year, 8 months, 12 days.....
We said it might kinda be a break, and I think that's helped me deal with it.... but like I don't want a boyfriend again .... Not for a while.... 'nd I'm not sure I want to be back with him either..... Like ... If I wasn't worth the effort then.... Why would I be now?
Saturday - So... Collected my stuff from him .... hugged it out... and yeah.... We heaven't talked since...
:/ yup...
Later that evening I went to a club..... for the first time..... it was not my scene o.o. ... dancing... is not my scene.... 'cause like I don't really know what to do and part of me is worried about making a fool of myself but its mostly I don't think I would enjoy it ... So I don't want to o.o...And thus I did not dance
On the plus side I got some free drinks, and met some really really awesome people o3o and they had amazing hair and i was jelly >.>
And crashed round my brothers which was nice, though throughout Sunday people kept commenting on me sounding American o.o
Sunday - Went to church, had a guy ask "where are you from" So I replied surrey and he was like no but where are you originally from and I was like.... Do I sound American? So there you go, never been there but the language sound has crossed into my vocal cords. Also met an animator :D! So that was so very awesomes.
Perhaps one of the main highlights was I saw some Maasai warriors! they were so so so cool <3 and the women were so pretty and they had necklaces and when they jumped there boobs moved up and down so the necklaces did also and then it created a beat and I was just like <3 you guys are awesomes :3 and the men could jump so high O.O was so cool. They are over here for 10 weeks to raise money for back home. So kudos to them.
And my grandparents commented on how much more confident I am aha which was cool.
Monday - Went to lessons, after lessons went round Fords to make cake.... It failed XD BUT WE WILL TRY AGAIN! With scales and instructions and stuff >.> Then went to re enactment o3o those guys are so very awesome o3o I'm thinking of joining o3o. Um and then.... We went to the pub, and I had this massive burger like.... How do people eat these things o..o stupid burger o.o but it was also very tasty >.> so maybe not so stupid o.o......I've met some amazing people at university and it's made me insanely happy ... Like it's not that I was worried about not making friends, but friends that I can trust and will value, that I was worried about I think.
But yeah we had an hour before the bus back to Langstone so we decided to walk, but first we walked angie home but then we didn't we walked to the beach which was awesome, we got there at midnight, it was so peaceful and beautiful and just lovely..... But then it was an hour and a half walk back to langstone XD and Tom and I ( he is in anime and reenactment also ) decided to flip a coin XD heads was right and tails was left :L... Yeah, we also had a race as to who could get the times I went for 1.29 and he went for 1.31, and if we had not followed the coin. We would have made it my time >.> but we got there at 1.38 so I made the tea for us today.
Tuesday - Today.... Lessons, then shopping, the saying yes human chess is going to happen, then doing poi, then watching chucky 3, 4 to be next Tuesday and now I've finished writing this and it's wednesday and I'm up in 7 hours V.V My days. WELL
Good night non existent people, have good days.....
Friday - My mum came down to take me back up for the weekend, my dog was so happy to see me he managed to jump over the protective cloth in the back seat into my lap on the front seat, was very sweet aha. Though later over the weekend it seems he'd eaten some rotten apples as he smelled so much D:
We then... After almost being directed out of portsmouth -.-... silly one way system. Anyways we went back to the soup place o3o And I'm thinking of enrolling them as the food peoples for if and when I do the murder mysteries o3o
Went shopping, got some PJ bottoms and two tops for £4 o.o which was good. They also have square floor tiles but they were £10.... Which is a lot of money o.o I think.... For chess that will only happen once o.o
When I got home I was so so so tired O.O but yeah o.o ..... Then .... In the evening.... I had a call with my boyfriend..... Well I called him on the phone and asked what he'd been doing... And he said playing skyrim..... Was pretty pissed off at him :/ cause like.... He finally had free time, and he chose to play a game over me o.o...... When he hasn't talked to me in a couple weeks :/...... and when I was finally back home so we could arrange stuff....I had such a go at him, it's just like is a game really worth more than me?
Long story short we've broken up, at 22.22 on the 11th of the 10th I don't want to work out how many days we went out for... It's not even that he's a bad person..... It's just, he's working so much, he's tired all the time, which leaves him in this state of not caring and it's not just me he doesn't care about or want to put effort into it's his friends as well.... and I don't have the patience to wait o.o
621 days....Or 1 year, 8 months, 12 days.....
We said it might kinda be a break, and I think that's helped me deal with it.... but like I don't want a boyfriend again .... Not for a while.... 'nd I'm not sure I want to be back with him either..... Like ... If I wasn't worth the effort then.... Why would I be now?
Saturday - So... Collected my stuff from him .... hugged it out... and yeah.... We heaven't talked since...
:/ yup...
Later that evening I went to a club..... for the first time..... it was not my scene o.o. ... dancing... is not my scene.... 'cause like I don't really know what to do and part of me is worried about making a fool of myself but its mostly I don't think I would enjoy it ... So I don't want to o.o...And thus I did not dance
On the plus side I got some free drinks, and met some really really awesome people o3o and they had amazing hair and i was jelly >.>
And crashed round my brothers which was nice, though throughout Sunday people kept commenting on me sounding American o.o
Sunday - Went to church, had a guy ask "where are you from" So I replied surrey and he was like no but where are you originally from and I was like.... Do I sound American? So there you go, never been there but the language sound has crossed into my vocal cords. Also met an animator :D! So that was so very awesomes.
Perhaps one of the main highlights was I saw some Maasai warriors! they were so so so cool <3 and the women were so pretty and they had necklaces and when they jumped there boobs moved up and down so the necklaces did also and then it created a beat and I was just like <3 you guys are awesomes :3 and the men could jump so high O.O was so cool. They are over here for 10 weeks to raise money for back home. So kudos to them.
And my grandparents commented on how much more confident I am aha which was cool.
Monday - Went to lessons, after lessons went round Fords to make cake.... It failed XD BUT WE WILL TRY AGAIN! With scales and instructions and stuff >.> Then went to re enactment o3o those guys are so very awesome o3o I'm thinking of joining o3o. Um and then.... We went to the pub, and I had this massive burger like.... How do people eat these things o..o stupid burger o.o but it was also very tasty >.> so maybe not so stupid o.o......I've met some amazing people at university and it's made me insanely happy ... Like it's not that I was worried about not making friends, but friends that I can trust and will value, that I was worried about I think.
But yeah we had an hour before the bus back to Langstone so we decided to walk, but first we walked angie home but then we didn't we walked to the beach which was awesome, we got there at midnight, it was so peaceful and beautiful and just lovely..... But then it was an hour and a half walk back to langstone XD and Tom and I ( he is in anime and reenactment also ) decided to flip a coin XD heads was right and tails was left :L... Yeah, we also had a race as to who could get the times I went for 1.29 and he went for 1.31, and if we had not followed the coin. We would have made it my time >.> but we got there at 1.38 so I made the tea for us today.
Tuesday - Today.... Lessons, then shopping, the saying yes human chess is going to happen, then doing poi, then watching chucky 3, 4 to be next Tuesday and now I've finished writing this and it's wednesday and I'm up in 7 hours V.V My days. WELL
Good night non existent people, have good days.....
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