Day 6827

You are what you eat....3 transition thing o.o

AND

Then the bird that jumped and hovered and failed and yes.

Day 6823

o..o Well that was a fun night, my eyes are all red though that is mostly because I didn't take my makeup off.

I'm meeting a guy today....  He said he wants to ask me a question... A personal question, that is best asked in person...... o...o I has sneaky suspicions he will ask me out :/ but I am seriously hoping that is not it..... I mean I broke up with my boyfriend... what a week ago? And he's known me for... two weeks if that.

I get that I can be a nice person and I do judge people, but not on there looks or background or whatever ...Which is a nice enough trait. I also have the confidence to pull off talking to different people and enjoy it. and "beauty" wise I mean I'm not super skinny or fit but the clothes I wear accentuate my breasts and waist and with heels I can be normal height and with make up I'm relatively pretty. This is basically my opinion of myself and my acknowledgement I would seem to be a good girlfriend.... But it's just like... You can't know someone in two weeks and you can't get over someone in one week.


He may not even ask me...
I may be worrying for nothing....

BUT GUYS SERIOUSLY D:< you say about friend zoning well I say about girlfriend zoning 0..0 only being interested in a girl as a potential girlfriend and when you find out she's not interested you disappear o..o If you do that you are a douche. Grow up. If you don't o.o then o.o I approve.........


On another note
I have a white rose :3 it is so pretty :3 and it is awesomes o3o and I will post images soon :3

Day 6822

Why do I feel so bad TT_TT I know I'm not worthless, I mean something to people there are people who care for me.... I know that, I do.

I feel so useless. I can't do this TT_TT I don't want another relationship ever again. Inadequate. Why was I not worth the effort. Why did I go out with a guy like him. Why do I still feel like I need him to "validate" me  this is so crap! srew relationships and boys and people and I hate this TT_TT!

Day 6821

So.... A lot of things happened this friday to Monday, here is a quick rendition of the events.


Friday - My mum came down to take me back up for the weekend, my dog was so happy to see me he managed to jump over the protective cloth in the back seat into my lap on the front seat, was very sweet aha. Though later over the weekend it seems he'd eaten some rotten apples as he smelled so much D:

We then... After almost being directed out of portsmouth -.-... silly one way system. Anyways we went back to the soup place o3o And I'm thinking of enrolling them as the food peoples for if and when I do the murder mysteries o3o

Went shopping, got some PJ bottoms and two tops for £4 o.o which was good. They also have square floor tiles but they were £10.... Which is a lot of money o.o I think.... For chess that will only happen once o.o

When I got home I was so so so tired O.O but yeah o.o ..... Then .... In the evening.... I had a call with my boyfriend..... Well I called him on the phone and asked what he'd been doing... And he said playing skyrim..... Was pretty pissed off at him :/ cause like.... He finally had free time, and he chose to play a game over me o.o...... When he hasn't talked to me in a couple weeks :/...... and when I was finally back home so we could arrange stuff....I had such a go at him, it's just like is a game really worth more than me?

Long story short we've broken up, at 22.22 on the 11th of the 10th I don't want to work out how many days we went out for... It's not even that he's a bad person..... It's just, he's working so much, he's tired all the time, which leaves him in this state of not caring and it's not just me he doesn't care about or want to put effort into it's his friends as well.... and I don't have the patience to wait o.o

621 days....Or 1 year, 8 months, 12 days.....


We said it might kinda be a break, and I  think that's helped me deal with it.... but like I don't want a boyfriend again .... Not for a while.... 'nd I'm not sure I want to be back with him either..... Like ... If I wasn't worth the effort then.... Why would I be now?



Saturday - So... Collected my stuff from him .... hugged it out... and yeah.... We heaven't talked since...

:/ yup...

Later that evening I went to a club..... for the first time..... it was not my scene o.o. ... dancing... is not my scene.... 'cause like I don't really know what to do and part of me is worried about making a fool of myself but its mostly I don't think I would enjoy it ... So I don't want to o.o...And thus I did not dance

On the plus side I got some free drinks, and met some really really awesome people o3o and they had amazing hair and i was jelly >.>

And crashed round my brothers which was nice, though throughout Sunday people kept commenting on me sounding American o.o

Sunday - Went to church, had a guy ask "where are you from" So I replied surrey and he was like no but where are you originally from and I was like.... Do I sound American? So there you go, never been there but the language sound has crossed into my vocal cords. Also met an animator :D! So that was so very awesomes.

Perhaps one of the main highlights was I saw some Maasai warriors! they were so so so cool <3 and the women were so pretty and they had necklaces and when they jumped there boobs moved up and down so the necklaces did also and then it created a beat and I was just like <3 you guys are awesomes :3 and the men could jump so high O.O was so cool. They are over here for 10 weeks to raise money for back home. So kudos to them.

And my grandparents commented on how much more confident I am aha which was cool.



Monday - Went to lessons, after lessons went round Fords to make cake.... It failed XD BUT WE WILL TRY AGAIN! With scales and instructions and stuff >.> Then went to re enactment o3o those guys are so very awesome o3o  I'm thinking of joining o3o. Um and then.... We went to the pub, and I had this massive burger like.... How do people eat these things o..o stupid burger o.o but it was also very tasty >.> so maybe not so stupid o.o......I've met some amazing people at university and it's made me insanely happy ... Like it's not that I was worried about not making friends, but friends that I can trust and will value, that I was worried about I think.

But yeah we had an hour before the bus back to Langstone so we decided to walk, but first we walked angie home but then we didn't we walked to the beach which was awesome, we got there at midnight, it was so peaceful and beautiful and just lovely..... But then it was an hour and a half walk back to langstone XD and Tom and I ( he is in anime and reenactment also ) decided to flip a coin XD heads was right and tails was left :L... Yeah, we also had a race as to who could get the times I went for 1.29 and he went for 1.31, and if we had not followed the coin. We would have made it my time >.> but we got there at 1.38 so I made the tea for us today.

Tuesday - Today.... Lessons, then shopping, the saying yes human chess is going to happen, then doing poi, then watching chucky 3, 4 to be next Tuesday and now I've finished writing this and it's wednesday and I'm up in 7 hours V.V My days. WELL

Good night non existent people, have good days.....

Day 6814

Overview update of things.

Today, I forgot my purse, I had ordered soup ( very tasty soup I might add) And just as he was about to put the soup in the cup I realised I had no money O.O .... Yet, as you can probably tell from my comment on said soup, Mark let me have it for free o.o .... I will be paying him back tomorrow with a drawing saying thank you :)  But yeah o.o Very good soup - homemade soup. The owners are called mark and lin, I have have remember there names as there is a line to mark their shop o.o.... lin mark... yeah o.o

Also met Peter, he is homeless. I gave him a little money :/ but... I doubt that will change much.... WHAT CAN I DO D:< o.o he had a girl friend for 7 years o.o she cheated on him, and everything was in his name o.o so o.o.... he has no where to live :/.... But he is very nice o.o My new found friend Ford also talked to him and was told poetry :3

o.o Ford is also in the reenactment club, and on my course o.o and he is so awesomes o3o So I went to that, and it was like fencing... but not o.o.... IM GOING TO STEAL THEM INTO CHESS >:3 probably o.o

I have also found if my window is open at night o.o I get lots of little bugs o.o.... all round the light ~o.o~

and boyfriend has gone back to being so busy he forgets me o.o I'm not sure how I feel about this o.o.....

ALSO.... D:< the shoes I ordered that were perfect <3 o.o did not come,  so I emailed them  and because my paypal for some reason said to them that it wasn't payed they canceled my order?! They manually checked it found it was paid, they've refunded me... But they have no more of those shoes... So... Am on the hunt for cosplay shoes o...o yup.  

We won a piggy bank :3 student finance union people were in the food hall and if you filled out a questionnaire you could win a piggy bank. So now o.o when we have leftover money from takeaways we are putting it in the piggy bank and then we will all buy stuff with it :3 

Day 6811

After all those tears and unsteady feelings, it seems Boyfriend and I are staying together, Till next October it should be all okay... After that will be a little more difficult.

We shall see o.o Now to clean everything!


Update!

Everything is clean and... I look 15.

Video photo thing of my new hair..... I am so self centered ~o.o~

So, for cosplay of tsukumo.... I cut my hair, I now look 15 and because I have thin hair the fringe keeps parting weirdly o...o oh well till October 28th! 

Movie nights in my room.... 8 people.... in this little room o.o.... It's kinda impressive in it's own way :) Makes the room feel much bigger when everyone is gone aha.

Will do a room video whilst it's tidy in the near future me thinks.

SO many little fricken BUGS D:< o.o and thus the slaughter of bugs continued in my room. Glade "Relaxing Zen" Sending the little critters to an untimely demise. Yeah.....

Day 6809

Losing hope with boyfriend, losing patience more so.


Made more dragon things http://imgur.com/a/Zb6cF cups this time.

I'm really enjoying university.... and I don't much miss home,  I miss talking to my mum and sometimes my dad but my room/bed, not so much.

Found two other people who play GW, wonder if I'd still be able to play if I broke up with Tom... I HATE THIS NOT KNOWING -.-...... Shitty situations.


Also found people who like chess, so may make a chess set cake thing... Would be fun.

Or arrange a big kinda people piece chess set o.o? Like Wizards chess... But cheaper.  Would need 32 people.... And space.... Possibilities o.o

Like this http://www.instructables.com/id/Inexpensive-Human-Chess-Set-for-After-School-Club/ but not o.o