Monday 21 October 2019

Day 9017



 want to be an animator am an animator.


2020 feels right around the corner. Since graduating university my working life has not gone to plan. Moving from one non-industry job to another has felt like moving sideways away from my creative goals. Working on my own projects has proven to be incredibly enjoyable when I do them, but actually doing them seems not to happen, leading to anxiety, apathy and overall inefficiency.

My current role is a more diagonal step towards the creative industry. The structure, pay, lack of stress and challenges I can complete, coupled with the amazing people, facilities and freedom to listen to what I'd like to, leave it, all in all, to be a job I am enjoying - just not feeling fulfilled in. Long term? No. Midterm? Yes very much so. As I write this I am currently riding the post-event high of EGX coupled with a cold that allows me to appreciate the amazingness of actually being able to breathe. I met absolutely wonderful people there and entrapped them in a random game of roll the d20 because why not. Something I've realised at this event is whilst my limit is really two days and after that, it's not quite as fun and I am socially drained and don't remember people quite as well, I REALLY love meeting new people. Getting to know them, seeing what they are passionate about is super interesting. That the games industry has such wonderful people in, it really does give me hope for the future and has solidified that that is the industry I'd like to work on. I also found I still love VR and it is a very powerful experience although some of the flatter games were just as engaging. And ultimately I think it comes down to telling stories.

I think my main passion isn't just making people feel things, it's not even about making people happy or distracting from reality per se, but more about telling a story. It sounds so obvious, it's what I like about games, films, books, meeting people, it's about finding these amazing stories and experiencing them then moving onto the next one, the novelty factor that builds up onto itself. Not how pretty something looks, or how mechanically sound it is, or about growing as an artist for better self-development absolutely none of that holds any real weight for me experiencing a great story hell yes. Does the consumption translate to creation? It does, but I think that is more related to positive/constructive feedback... Or money.
Koala park studio is going to be an amazing side hustle, I am going to be an amazing animator, I am going to work with an amazing team and we shall make, you guessed it AMAZING games!
Definition of amazing? Causing great surprise or wonder.

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