Day 9009

Random thoughts:

Returning from far away

It'd odd that the last time I posted on here (or didn't post as it was left as a draft) was just before an EGX event.  And what dear reader is happening next week? You guessed it EGX!

My life has somewhat changed recently with a new job and a new awareness of my mental health. I think now having the time to think has left me with time to realise the unhappiness I've been smothering and now am facing. The main feeling comes from a lack of creating.

Not that procrastination is a new thing. My lack of discipline and lack of work ethic aren't really new, just things I've put down to being lazy and accepting instead of trying to address. Although I am currently writing this instead of getting on with things... It's a journey, let's go with progress not perfection on this.

I've been researching more into motivation and have come to three solid conclusions.

1. Healthy lifestyle to allow your brain to have dopamine receptors 
2. Changing too quickly will send your lizard brain into overdrive
3. Having fun is just as important as working hard 

Also, all being key components: Drinking water, getting plenty of rest, planning your day into 30-minute chunks, keeping the end goal in mind and celebrating the small steps. 

I'd still like to create a " Get Sh*t Done" digital planner (with a koala mascot), however, for now, I'm using a pen and paper planner, Jiffy, and an Excel sheet that has "sims" stats out of 100. (Currently on 60) Essentially testing it out before making one.

I've started tracking my moods and also how my week has gone all in all. Recently I've been having days of complete apathy which aren't currently affecting my life outside of those days but if they continue I think I shall try and talk to a doctor about them and see what's up.

If only researching and making lists directly led to me following through with them. I'm brilliant at sticking to my plans at the start, but once the novelty has run out so does the motivation to continue. I've yet to find a more consistent way however I find something often becomes novel again after a couple months so can reuse them over time. Currently, I cycle between these things.

List of the day: 

My top 9 novelty motivations 

1. Waking up early
   5am wake up time with 30 minutes of it being used to actually wake up. I find I will work for at least an hour on a project and feel the same amount of tiredness at the end of the day as if I'd woken up at 7am. Actually waking up at this time however is another step in and of itself. This can also work with staying up super late/ doing an all-nighter, though I have found the quality of this work is often not that good so not worth it. 
2. Listening to a show/book
   This one is somewhat dependant on finding a good show and can turn into a negative if I become too engrossed in the show to the point that's all I want to do.  
3. Money
   I do not have a problem with short term commissions or going to work, long term ones, however, I flounder at or working for free I'm also not so great at.  
4. Entering a competition/Going to an event
   Not one I've used in a while, but having the deadline that is out of my control with a great potential reward is always enticing. 
5. Only 5 minutes
   This one is when I'm really bad but still, in control, I'll set a timer for 5 minutes and do "the thing" if the timer goes off and I want to stop then that's fine. If I want to keep going that's also fine. Normally once I've started it's all good. 
6. Take a chance 1-10
   This one is quite fun and I do in a variety of ways, I'll make a list of for example 10 things, with number 10/0 always being something fun. I roll the dice, whatever number it lands on I do for 1 hour. Unlike the 5 minutes one however once that hour is up I stop, save and re-roll. 
7. 1v1
   Again not one I've used in a while, but when I'm racing/competing with someone else. Trying to match another person either intellectually or skillfully for a short time can be a real motivator. Looking at other peoples work can also be an inspiration and help keep my eye in.  
8. Change of scenery
   This can be moving my desk from one room to another or sometimes working portably outside of the home in a new place.
9. Starting a new project
   This doesn't have to be something entirely new. I've found if I break things down but not too much, that starting on a new area of a project can also fall into this, but this is the height of novelty and often only lasts a few days. 

Summary of today: 

Neither enjoyment nor building for the future ●

Score on life: 60
Celebrate: Getting food for breakfasts and all of the bed washing done
Motivated: Watch shows and draw
Thankful: Having such an understanding partner and seeing my grandparents, also, seeing how much they've improved since I last saw them.